Peace November 6, 2009

So, I took a drive last night.  I ended up sitting beside a lake at Four Lakes right at sunset.  It was the very, absolute essence of peace.  I sat there and just breathed God in.  Just let Him love on me and comfort me.  It was delightful.  The lake was like glass, gorgeously reflecting the trees around it.  God very clearly spoke peace into my soul.

Many memories came into my mind during this brief time at the lake.  There was another time when I took a drive and ended up at a lake.  That time was the opposite of peace.  I drove to Rock Cut in tears and confusion.  As I approached the lake, I stopped on the edge of the water.  The lake was down, so there was about three feet of dirt between the shore and the water.  I jumped down there and started to pick up rocks.  I threw rocks into a lake for about an hour.  I didn’t just throw the rocks, I whipped them (baseball sized rocks) with every ounce of my strength and I grunted out loud with every throw.  I’m sure I was quite a sight, wearing dress clothes and strappy sandals, and I noticed there were people watching.  I didn’t care.  I was throwing a fit!  Every throw was laced with questions to God.  Every throw was frustrations that I couldn’t speak to anyone but Him.  Every throw was a physical manifestation of a heart in turmoil.  It was the opposite of peace and I don’t think there is a word strong enough to explain my heart. 

My point to this blog  is…there’s hope.  In any situation, whether you’re in the throwing rocks point of life in frustration, anger, confusion, questions, and worry or you’re at the point of peace sitting beside a beautiful lake and drinking in His glory, know that God is good!  He is in control and, if we let Him, He will gently lead us.

Rise Above!! November 4, 2009

From Lysa Terkeust’s webblog to her daugher:

Rise above the girlish chatter and gossip. When people talk about others in hushed whispers, they are saying nothing but how insecure they are about themselves. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the daily beauty contest. You can’t see it now, but you have the makings of a gorgeous woman inside and out. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the incessant need most teens have for someone else validate your worth. No boy will ever be capable of truly making you feel pretty, witty, and loved. Let Jesus fill up those spaces in your heart and eventually show you a boy worth your time. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the talk about first kisses and stolen moments. Realize how precious and priceless your purity is. What a beautiful thing it is that you still have the gift of a first kiss to give. Be uncommon sweetheart.

For it is uncommon for a girl your age to want to stay home and write on a blog about her Daddy.

It is uncommon for a girl your age to find joy in shoveling animal poop for hours so kids in Africa can have an athletic field on which to play.

It is uncommon to be almost 16 years old and have never kissed a boy.

It is uncommon to spend hours dreaming of how you might one day serve God in lands most people have never heard of.

It is uncommon. Rare. Incredible. Amazing. Precious. Priceless.

That’s who I prayed you would one day be and who you are becoming.

Rise above sweetheart. Be you. Continue to seek the uncommon. 

I wish I had time to write my own words to my daughters.  They’d be so similar, but so different.  They’d be of the same heart…a momma’s heart who wants the best for her girls.  Lord, give me wisdom as I mother my children.  Let me know the words to say to encourage them to rise above senseless things like gossip, lying, rebellion, pre-marital sex, alcohol, drugs, and other sins that teens find to get into.  Let them rise above as your ambassadors.  Let them purpose themselves to serve You and those You have called them to.  Lord, let other wise women speak into their lives giving them hope and direction through Your Holy Spirit.  May my girls rise above and live to glorify You!  I love you, Lord.  May I be filled with Your spirit and guided by Your truth.  You are precious to me and I know my girls are precious to You.  I entrust You with them and I praise You for entrusting them with me.  Help me to show them Your love, and Your Way, and Your grace.  Lead us.  Guide us.  We live for You.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Community October 29, 2009

I watch a beautiful video segment of Carol Kent’s “When I Lay My Isaac Down” today.  The segment’s title was named “Community”.  She included this passage of scripture:

  1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Phil 2:1-2 (NIV)

She went on to say “when you are in a crisis, if you have one supportive person, you can make it through the journey.”

She calls them “stretcher-bearers”…people who carry your stretcher even to the point of lowering it through the roof to get you before the Lord.  I call them friends.  Thank you to all of our dear friends-to the one who dropped everything to sit with us through that night and then spoke that morning, to the ones who filled in for Kidzone when I couldn’t teach, to the ones who sent cards, brought meals and gifts, gave hugs, and believed and supported and helped, and to even the youth group segment that wanted to protect and to revenge; to the ones who grieved with us, who cried with us, who LISTENED to us, and who cared–You all carried the stretcher for us.  You supported us! 

I’m sure you don’t fully understand and I pray that you never experience the full hurt of my heart and the extent of the crisis in our family.  Your support brought us through.  Your prayers, your love, and your unity of spirit and purpose showed how the body of Christ works in crisis.  You were there for us when we needed you-you took us before the Lord.  I praise God for you!!!  I praise God that He ordained our connection and that He provided the healing. 

How blessed we are to have friends and family who model God’s love.  I pray that I can learn from you and walk in that love as a “stretcher-bearer” to people in crisis.  I’ve learned so much!! 

May God richly bless you to be a blessing to others!!  We’re counting our blessings and we’re counting our friends twice.  Thank you, Lord, for stretcher bearers. 

 

 

Three Little Words October 21, 2009

A friend and I were talking about a situation going on in a mutual friend’s family.  It may have technically been gossip, but we were both devastated by what was going on and sharing our heart about how saddened we were.  My friend then said that she has a friend with a theory.  She then said three little words that if I believe them change everything about how I see that family.   My reactions change, my emotions change, and my sympathy changes.  Three little words.

I do not believe those words.  I truly don’t.  But, there is a bit of wonder now and I have a bit of question about the character of our mutual friend.  Beyond a bit of question, there is a lot of concern and even anger, if I think about it, but I don’t even believe it.  It’s amazing how three little words–which probably aren’t true–hold that much power.

I think about gossip and how easily we are tainted by it.  How often have we been in the middle of a perfectly healthy conversation only to hear three little words which sink in and change our opinion of someone?  What’s the answer?

Stop gossip.  If someone comes to you with some juicy news or even a problem in their life, you can listen and help them…but then point them to the person and offer to go with them.  I did that about a year ago with a person in our home.  She was going on and on about another person from our church.  I told her that she had to go to that person and she had to talk it out.   She refused.  I told her I would go with her, and she refused.  I told her I would talk to the person and set something up for them to meet, she still refused.  It came to the point where there was no way to help this person because she didn’t want help and didn’t want to follow Biblical guidelines, she just wanted to vent.  Venting is ok, but if it taints the “hearer” against the “spoken of”, we have a problem. 

As a sidenote:  I believe an abused person should not confront their abuser.  Not for a long time.  So, if someone is abused, I would never recommend that the person go to their abuser.  But, someone should.  The police, a pastor, or someone should confront, but not the survivor.

If you are mediating, or listening to someone gossip, vent, or tell their opinion–listen, care, express concern, but don’t let it taint you.  Don’t believe everything as truth, remember you’re only hearing one person’s perspective of what happened.  Seek out Biblical guidelines for peacemaking and reconciliation that make both individuals proactive.

Abscessed October 19, 2009

  I posted this as my facebook status yesterday.  I’ve been doing some thinking about abscessed wounds:

“In abscesses that are large or deep, where an incision is required to be done, irrigate the wound twice a day or as directed, and keep the incision open to allow drainage and promote healing.” God heal abscesses in our hearts that need to be opened, cleaned, and drained–even though it hurts terribly, the healing will come!!

When Linny was a baby she sucked her thumb.  She sucked it until she was around 18 months.  At that time, she was cutting teeth and she literally cut a tooth on her thumb.  It created a sore, calloused area.  We were unable to treat the sore, because she sucked her thumb so much.  We would bandage it and she would take it off.  It wasn’t healing.  After a few days, it started to swell.  Her little knuckle on that thumb swelled up to twice the size of normal.  Thinking maybe it should be checked out, I had Tim take her to an immediate care clinic.  One look at it in the clinic, and the Dr there sent Tim to the ER.  He was very concerned.  Come to find out, Lindsey’s sore was abscessed.  It was infected way down deep in the knuckle.  The remedy, lancing!!

The sore had to be opened up, drained, cleaned, and kept open to be cleaned as it healed.  Lindsey had to be restrained by several nurses, held down by her daddy, and sliced open by a doctor so the infection could be treated.  I don’t know if it was painful, but it was traumatic for her–and she wanted to suck her thumb for comfort!!!  But, she couldn’t.  She went through great stress and cried uncontrollably!!  The poor baby was still sniffling when I finally got her back in my arms.  It took a few days to get her sore healed and in the mean time, she broke free from the need to suck her thumb.

What does that have to do with anything?  Well, as Christians, sometimes we have hurts and coping methods that are unhealthy.  Whether it is a deep down hurt, or secret, that we aren’t treating (maybe don’t even realize is still there) or it is something that we do to comfort ourselves as we go through life,  there are times when abscessed wounds need to be opened and healed.  Believe me, I’ve been through it and IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is about the most painful process to allow God into an area  of our heart/hurt that He hasn’t been allowed to deal with.  Sometimes people who love us have to hold us down and make us let the Great Physician do the work to bring the healing.  And then, afterwards, our way of comforting ourselves won’t work anymore.  It just doesn’t work and the only thing that will comfort us is the power of the Holy Spirit!!  It is a very tough process, but something we must go through to find true healing.  

If you are going through a lancing, I urge you to let God do the work He needs to do to bring the healing.  Even though it hurts, even though it feels like people who love you are against you, even though you can not find comfort in what once comforted you, submit to the process ordained by the Holy Spirit and you will be healed!!  Once you are healed, you will be used to bring healing to others!! 

God bless you!!!  Pray for saints who are experiencing a lancing today!!!!!!

 

My Kids are Sinners! So am I! October 16, 2009

from http://www.peacemakers.net/peace/when.htm

Parents certainly can take a lot of the unnecessary grief out of child raising when, as a matter of course (rather than becoming falsely shocked over the fact), they expect their children to do wrong things at home, at school, and in public. There is then no necessity to subject children to unusual and inappropriate discipline or to the excessive anger that sometimes grows out of embarrassment. Once parents are prepared to admit that the Biblical doctrine of original sin is true not only in theory, but is operative as well in the life of little Mary or Johnny, they can relax and deal with the problem appropriately (Biblically). Again, this does not mean that they will excuse or ignore sinful behavior in their children, or that they will be unconcerned about it as something inevitable and, therefore, about which nothing can be done. No, not that at all. Rather, they will acknowledge sin for what it is and will proceed to deal with it in a Biblical manner.

I know my children mess up, I know they make mistakes and bad decisions, I know they lie, I know they rebel, I know they disobey, believe me, I know.  I was the same way–much worse!!  In fact, I still am.  I am still a sinner saved by grace.  I make mistakes, I rebel against God and my husband, I still sin, daily.  I hate it.  I hate sin, I hate lies, I hate rebellion, I hate that this world is so distorted by sin!  I get so frustrated that I want to scream, and sometimes I do, sinfully.  But, I know the answer!!  Jesus Christ and the power of grace and love!!  And true repentance before Him and man.  When my kids mess up, which they do often and sometimes greatly, I try to lead them in repentance.  It’s easier with some than others and younger kids than older ones.  Each child has to feel their own conviction and come to their state of repentance.  I rejoice with them when the receive forgiveness and the cleanness of GRACE!!  I know that feeling, I know grace, because I am a sinner saved by it.

Problems come in when the sin is against someone else (that’s a “duh” statement).  We try to teach our children to reconcile when need be and we try to reconcile when we need to.  When conviction comes, the answer to to apologize and to try to talk it through with the other person.  We work on reconciliation in our family when siblings quarrel or (on the seldom occasion) that PT and I fight (read the sarcasm? LOL!).  Humble apologies are received and forgiveness of the offense occurs.  If the offended will not receive the apology, then we see have a more complex sinful situation where both children are now at fault, and the first original sinner (in the situation) has done what is right and started the process of reconciliation and is forgiven.  It rests in the second person’s hands if that person will forgive and reconcile.  It’s very hard when the hurt is deep and may take a lot of time and an opportunity for that person to express the depth of their hurt from the original sin or their perceptions of what happened.  Hopefully, all can talk it out and come to unity through the power of the Holy Spirit!  

In our family, there’s an added element of complexity when one of us sins–public perception and public opinion!  My dad was very wise when I was caught in deep sin as a teenager.  I had to stand before the church and publicly confess my sin to the congregation and publicly repent (most powerful and beautiful moment of my life to be loved by a unified, grace-based church).  I very powerfully agree the concept of public confession and have required it from my children sometimes, but we haven’t gone as far as requiring it before the entire church with our children.  Sometimes, I wish we could, because it might stop some gossip.   My question as a mom is, “If I know my child has repented and is sorry, do I owe it to anyone to explain?”  I do think he/she should apoligize and reconcile to the person they sinned against…but do they need to apologize and reconcile with the onlookers?  What about to those who have heard the rumors afterwards?   Have they sinned against the onlookers because their public testimony was damaged?  Has the damaged reputation in the minds of people who may or may not be Christians hurt our ministry and if so, what do we need to do publicly to restore it?  There are no easy answers and when it comes down to it, the only thing I can do is leave it in God’s hands.  Obey what He directs and trust Him with the rest. 

Do you know what?  When I privately confessed my “major” sin to my dad–the one which led to public confession–I thought he was going to kill me.  But, he didn’t.  I thought he was going to yell at me, but he didn’t.  I thought I would be kicked out of our family and shunned by our church–I wasn’t.  He wrapped his arms around me in a dad-sized hug and he said, “I love you!”  Thank you, Dad!!  And I found great grace, love, and acceptance in our church, “Thank you, God!!”  I pray that I can be half as graceful as my dad was with me as I deal with my children!  I’ve failed so many times already, but I want them to know–”No matter what you have done, are doing now, or will do in the future, I love you!! No matter what!!”  I am holding onto this promise:   ¹³And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children. Isaiah 54:13.  And, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 “And, I pray that from now through my last breathing breath I will be able to say, “⁴I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:14

Acts 13:50 October 6, 2009

I’m copying this from http://www.shannacrawford.blogspot.com/ today.  She’s of the same mindset as I am this morning.

I am reading through the book of Acts right now. Last night I was reading chapter 13. Several things stuck out to me.

Paul was in the synagogue at Antioch and the leaders told him to stand up if he had a word of encouragement for the people. Paul then stands and tells the people how God led the children of Israel out of Egypt. The Israelites were tired of having Judges and asked for a king and he gave them Saul. After removing Saul he made David their king.

This is what God said about David in verse 32. I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.

Paul then goes on to tell them about John preparing the way for Jesus by preaching repentance and baptism. He then tells the story of Jesus death and resurrection so that Salvation could be offered to ALL.

Something else stuck out to me concerning David in verse 36. It says For when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation he fell asleep.

Paul then goes on to tell the people about the grace of Salvation…about being justified by faith apart from the law. The people wanted to hear more and invited him and Barnabas to come back the next sabbath to explain further. When so many responded the following sabbath the jews became angry. Paul and Barnabas told the people that God had called them to be a light to the Gentiles to bring salvation to the ends of the earth. Many of the gentiles responded by believing.

Even though the word of the Lord spread throughout that region, the jews stirred up ‘GOD-FEARING’ women and men against them to expel them from that city. The super cool thing is that they just shook the dust from their feet in protest against them and went on to the next city. Then the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. The joy of the Lord was their strength!

My point in all of this is that in this one tiny part of God’s story in history, several different people were called to a certain purpose. David was called to be a king, John was called to preach repentance and baptism, Paul was called to be preach salvation, the gentiles were called to spread the word of God. Because of what we know about these men’s lives from reading other parts of the scriptures, we know they all faced great opposition at certain times, yet they were still faithful to their call by the grace of God. And then things were said of them like what was said about David, For when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation he fell asleep. How cool! David screwed up a bunch, yet he loved God so much and had the joy of knowing at the end of his life that he had served God’s purpose in his own generation.

I want this to be said at the end of my life too, and the lives of every Christ follower throughout the earth.

There are some things as Christians, we are ALL called to do. We are called to spread the gospel, give to those in need, encourage one another, help the oppressed, take care of orphans and widows, share the love of Christ with a hurting world in various ways and at ALL times!

I pray that, like David, we are all men and women after God’s own heart to the point that we are doing everything the Lord wants us to do. I pray at the end of our lives that God will say of us that we served His purposes in our own generation.

Point 1:  I am thinking about Acts 13:50 that says “The Jews stirred up GOD FEARING women against Paul and Barnabas.”  How can GOD FEARING women get stirred up against the leadership of the ministry?  How can they be opposed to those who are ordained to bring the message of salvation, of Jesus Christ to the lost and hurting.  What did these women do?  Nowadays, we might see twitter posts or facebook updates against the church leadership, see social functions where they eat “pastor” for dinner, or snide remarks that tear down the leadership’s character by calling them names or labeling them as something negative.  It breaks my heart!!  It breaks my heart!!  Those women will have to answer to God.  I pray for all of the women in the women’s ministry here at New Life to have divine appointment of encouragement to all church leaders in this minsitry and across the body of Christ.  Let’s not be stirred up against anyone who is ministering with all of their all to serve God!!  I love the reaction to the women–shake the dust from their feet and move on SERVING GOD’S PURPOSE in their ministry!!

Point 2: Serving God’s Purpose.  I love our church and I love how God has ORDAINED and APPOINTED some to be prophets, some to be apostles, some to be Pastors and teachers, some to be toilet scrubbers, some to be cooks, some to be the best huggers in the whole world, etc…We each have been given our calling, our gifting, our experiences, and our knowledge to DO GOOD WORKS PREPARED IN ADVANCE.   I praise God that this body of Christ is working according to Biblical standards and I celebrate that here there are many laborers who are working for a harvest of righteousness!!  I think about the Women’s Conference and Unfading Beauty Day  a couple of weekends ago.  We had somewhere between 75-80 women involved in the ministry.  Not that many attended the conference, but behind the scenes there were over 60 women who contributed!!  Some as cooks, some as clean up, some as ones who gave clothing, some who taught, some who prophesied, some who simply loved beyond their earthly ability!!  We are created for a purpose–I pray (just like Shanna does) that we serve God’s purpose in our generation!! 

So, what’s the point– #1 don’t let anyone stir you up against who God has ordained you to be under!!  If you are unhappy with the church leadership, talk to them–not about them–and move on if your purpose there is over. #2 –Do the work God has called you to do without judging those whose work is different than your’s!   Understand it is God’s plan for the body of Christ!!

VICTORY October 5, 2009

V-I-VI-V-I-C-T!  T-O-T-O-T-O-R-Y!  VICTORY FOR Bago High!

 Slash that V, Dot that I, Curl that CTORY!

Let’s go, let’s go, varsity, we want, we want a victory!

If you can’t tell from the words I started this post with, victory is on my mind.  I spent a lot of time at football games this weekend, and we enjoyed winning 2 out of 3 games.  Winning is always fun, and, as a cheerleader at heart, I get into the cheering and the excitement of a victory.  My senior year, the 1989 football season, our varsity team made it as far as any Winnebago football team has ever gone in the playoffs.  After 2 non-conference losses, we went undefeated throughout the conference season and made it into the 2nd round of the playoffs.  I loved it–the energy, the excitement, the community support, and I especially loved beating rivals like Byron and Stillman, and cheering under those bright lights!!  Even though I’d started on the volleyball team in jr high and the HS volleyball coaches begged me to play volleyball in HS, I gave up v-ball to cheer.  Don’t even get me started about the slack I took as a 5′11″ cheerleader in a basketball town–back in the day when the girls’ team was statebound.  Football was my favorite sport and I cheered to get as close to the game as possible.  I felt like a part of something great!  It was so much fun! 

I never will forget our very last game, at Galena.  We lost, quite badly, and ended my term as a Winnebago football cheerleader.  I was devastated.  I literally was escorted off of the field, crying, by my cheer coach who I could tell was concerned about me.  I couldn’t bear the thought of not cheering for WHS football again.  I cheered in college, but it never was the same as Winnebago football.  I was a part of something special that year.  We did great in basketball, too, but the highlight of my high school years had to be cheering for that football team.

I didn’t know then that I’d get to live vicariously through my daughter as she cheers for the WHS football team.  I never would have imagined that either of my girls would cheer–”we’re much too into sports to settle for cheerleading,”  I thought.  But, just like I did, my Linny chose to cheer.  I’m joking about living vicariously through her, well, somewhat.  She could quit at any time, and she could choose to go do anything else she desires, but she chooses to cheer, and she loves it, too.  And, she thrives at it.  It gets into your blood, into your heart, into your being.  Where else can you jump up and yell, “Hit him!” or high kick, toe touch celebrate a victory??  It is fun.

So, what does all of this have to do with anything blog-worthy?  Well, ‘Bago has another great football team and we have a chance to make it further than my Class of ‘90 boys (We’ll see.) But, that’s not why I blog today.  Today, I blog on victory.

In Terri McFaddin’s book, ‘Only a Woman”, she says:

Now is the time for you to sing a song of victory.  What?  Do I hear you saying you have no victory to sing about, and therefore no reason to praise God?  Let me share with you a well-kept secret:  If you learn to praise the Lord for the small victories, you will also praise Him for the big ones…Don’t sit around thinking of how you will praise God when He gives you the victory.  Praise Him for each small achievement along the way.  Remember, these small celebrations are taking you closer to your final victory…Praise, you see, is the compass that guides us to victory.

I realized this morning, that I’ve missed a lot of victories lately.  I’ve missed some small ones and I’ve missed some major milestone victories.  I have forgotten to give God praise for even the smallest victory He has given us.

So, today, I am proclaiming VICTORY!!  Not victory for WHS or our beloved football team–but VICTORY for our family, for our church, for God’s people, the righteous who serve Him.  

The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: “The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!   The LORD’s right hand is lifted high; the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!” Psalms 118:14-16

I am shouting and singing for the victory that God has provided.

GO GOD!! V-oh yeah, I C-oh, yeah! T O-oh yeah, R Y!  VICTORY!!

He is an awesome God!  Oh, that I would praise Him more!!  Lord, help me to see even the small victories that You give.  Let me be a high-kicking, toe touching celebrator of You!!

Ten Years September 27, 2009

Once again, I’ll warn you, I write as I think and I HAVE to write to think things through–these are my disjointed thoughts–my disjointed heart–my journal.  It gets raw, it’s rough–but I have to write to process what God is doing.  You don’t have to read it, but I trust someone will be touched through it.  This is truly just a window into my mind–what you find there–well…just keep reading to find out.

10 years–Tonight, I am reflecting on ten years of ministry at New Life Bible Church. What a journey, what a blessing, what a heartache, what an honor, what an abundant overflowing of God’s goodness, His grace, His LOVE, and His Spirit. I stand in awe of God as HE builds HIS church!! I stand in awe of the family He has surrounded us with! I stand in awe of the fact that He chose us to serve Him. I am so humbled and blessed. I have never in my life known such love and acceptance from a church family that not only honors us as people who are gifted and called by God to this place–but honors us as people who fail, who hurt, who sin, who cry, who are real, and who are learning and growing alongside them. I praise God to be a part of this body! I praise God for the workers HE has given our church…for all of the workers through the past ten years. For partners who have poured their hearts, their finances, their love, their prayers, their tears, their time, their gifts, and their passions into ministering alongside of us as we determine where God is working and do our best to join HIM. I praise God for those who have taught me the true meaning of Christ’s body, the true meaning of family, and love, and forgiveness, and grace. I praise God for those who have entrusted us to join them in the tremendous JOYS of baptisms, of births, of childhood birthday parties, and Senior citizen luncheons and for those who have entrusted us with their deepest, darkest secrets and sins as they confess them before the LORD and are WASHED CLEAN and PURE.  I praise God for the times we have suffered together, mourned together through losses and deaths, and cried through the deepest hurts our hearts have endured. I pray that we would be unified as we reach out with God’s love to others who are hurting!! I praise God for all of the people we have ministered to–from the little children of VBS to the Next Level kids who are now grown adults, from the Senior Citizens to the Senior Class, from the married couples to the widowed and divorced, from the newest babies to the oldest grandparents, from the hymn-loving to the drum-playing, from the broken, battered, and beaten victims to the victorious conquerors, from the Village of Winnebago to the village of Shiringamazu. I praise God for each individual person who has ever been ministered to at New Life or by New Life or through New Life. I pray for them now! God use any seed that has been planted, bring someone to water it, and, LORD, grow their fruit and bring the harvest of righteousness, of joy, of love and peace, of devotion and servanthood, and, Lord, bless them with your love. Let them know they are loved.

One year–This weekend is a marker of one year. I don’t know that I can say that this year has been the toughest year of our lives or of our ministry, but personally, I think it has been one of my toughest years. I thank God for everyone who strengthened my weak arms as they stood beside me, for everyone who laid down beside me and created puddles with their tears, and for everyone who didn’t know what to do, or what to say, or even what happened, but prayed and sent cards, and lifted us up to the LORD. I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please continue to pray for me and for our family. I thank God for my best friends who have partnered with me as “Called Women” and H3 women to serve God and the women HE brings us. God, use them–they are prepared and READY! Lord, I change that, use US.

One weekend–SPEAK Women’s Conference wrapped up today. It’s impossible to FIND words to speak about it! I think it’s changed my life–and silly ole me was the one heading it up. How can it be that I was the one who was most touched, and challenged, and taught, and moved? This is what I feel–my words right now are bottled up—I haven’t been released to release the story. I feel in a way that my truest heart cannot be revealed, yet I’m telling women to SPEAK their hearts, to speak their stories. Yet–I am not speaking mine fully. I know God is releasing it–but it’s not only MY story–and I have to wait to speak it. I feel like a phony, like a fake, like a failure, like a blubbering fool– sometimes, because I boldly state “We’re real here–We speak our hearts–We share our stories”–but I protect with privacy. Lord, You know my heart. You have ordained this in Your perfect timing. Let me LISTEN and OBEY and SPEAK when YOU tell me to. Heal any who are connected to this story and prepare them. In the meantime, while I wait, help me SPEAK what YOU want me to speak with boldness not hesitation or fear or restraint. I KNOW this story is ordained to bring healing to so many!! Continue to heal as You prepare us to SPEAK it.  I’m so afraid of harmful consequences.  Take that away and help me TRUST you!

Intercession has changed for me. I have a new passion, an INCREASED passion, to pray for the lost of this town and our surrounding towns. I want to reach them with the saving GRACE and the healing touch of our Lord JESUS Christ! Let my passion flow out with love and truth and gentleness and servanthood.

There’s so much more to say and to do and to write and to think–but after all of this I want to pray, “Lord, let my words be few. May YOUR Word flow through me–little ole silly me. My greatest heart’s desire is to praise You and to know that You delight in me. Help me with my unbelief, my insecurities, my weaknesses, my failures, my mistakes, my messes, and my backstory. Lord, use me for Your glory. SPEAK, Oh LORD!

Wisdom of Solomon August 31, 2009

So, last week I had the phrase “The wisdom of Solomon; The test of Gideon” running through my head.  I studied Gideon and the test that God gave to the soldiers.  I believe God showed me exactly what He wanted me to see in that part of this phrase.

Now, I’m thinking about the Wisdom of Solomon part of it.  Today, I need the wisdom of Solomon. Solomon prayed: “Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?” (I Kings 3:9) Solomon was asking for wisdom to be a good king. The Bible says; “The speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.”

Lord, today I need an understanding heart.  I don’t desire to judge your people, but I desire to know Your will in this situation.  I need deep insight and a depth of understanding that will please You as I serve You.  Lord, I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You.  Solomon knew how to make decisions, I do not know what to do.  I need your wisdom today.  Help me wait for Your guidance before I take one step on my own.  I love you and I desire to bring you honor, and glory, and praise.  Please give me wisdom and peace, and patience.